Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Even More Funnies


Fast Sex
Eddie wanted desperately to have sex with this really cute, really hot girl in his office... but she was dating someone else.
One day Eddie got so frustrated that he went to her and said, 'I'll give you $100 if you let me have sex with you...'The girl looked at him, and then said, 'NO!' Eddie said, 'I'll be real fast. I'll throw the money on the floor, you bend down and I'll finish by the time you've picked it up.'
She thought for a moment and said that she would consult with her boy friend...so she called him and explained the situation.
Her boyfriend says, 'Ask him for $200, and pick up the money really fast. He won't even be able to get his pants down.' She agreed and accepts the proposal.
Over half an hour goes by and the boyfriend is still waiting for his girlfriend's call. Finally, after 45 minutes the boyfriend calls and asks what happened...?
Still breathing hard, she managed to reply, 'The bastard had all quarters!'
Management lesson: Always consider a business proposition in it's entirety before agreeing to it and getting screwed.



Woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods. She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap. The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three wishes." The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes. Whatever you wish for, your husband will get times ten!" The woman said, "That's okay." For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world. The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis whom women will flock to". The woman replied, "That's okay, because I will be the most beautiful woman and he will have eyes only for me." So, KAZA M-she's the most beautiful woman in the world! For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world. The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in the world. And he will be ten times richer than you." The woman said, "That's okay, because what's mine is his and what's his is mine." So, KAZAM-she's the richest woman in the world! The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, "I'd like a mild heart attack." Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don't mess with them.

The human body is a machine that is full of wonder. This collection of human body facts will leave you wondering why in the heck we were designed the way we were. -Scientists say the higher your I.Q. The more you dream. -The largest cell in the human body is the female egg and the smallest is the male sperm. -You use 200 muscles to take one step. -The average woman is 5 inches shorter than the average man. -Your big toes have two bones each while the rest have three. -A pair of human feet contain 250,000 sweat glands. -A full bladder is roughly the size of a soft ball. -The acid in your stomach is strong enough to dissolve razor blades. -The human brain cell can hold 5 times as much information as the Encyclopedia Britannica. -It takes the food seven seconds to get from your mouth to your stomach . -The average human dream lasts 2-3 seconds . -Men without hair on their chests are more likely to get cirrhosis of the liver than men with hair. -At the moment of conception, you spent about half an hour as a single cell.
-There is about one trillion bacteria on each of your feet. -Your body gives off enough heat in 30 minutes to bring half a gallon of water to a boil. -The enamel in your teeth is the hardest substance in your body. -Your teeth start growing 6 months before you are born. -When you are looking at someone you love, your pupils dilate, they do the same when you are looking at someone you hate. -Blondes have more hair than dark-haired people. -Your thumb is the same length of your nose. Now I KNOW you are placing your thumb on your NOSE, aren't you?

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