Ask Me Anything

What household chore do you hate to do the most?
Which one ... clean the toliets, vacuum, ... let me see... Can I tell you my most favorite instead?

Too Funny!

Product!

Another Wonderful Caption

You girls that do captions.... you are so talented. I am so sorry I forgot where I go ot. Will the owner please claim it and I post your link!

When Was Your First Time?

Please describe, in as much detail as possible, the first time you dressed as a maid.

Were you forced by a Mistress or Master?
Did you service more than one person?
Was it a public or private session?
Were you just curious on your own?
Have you done it multiple times?
Were your required to peform household chores?
Did you have sex later?
Were you still dressed in your maid uniform?

Yes ... I would say the first time was when I served dinner parties for Jonathan and Fiona. I dressed as a maid all the time. I serve cocktails, plate the meals, poured the wine, did dessert, was dessert sometimes and cleaned up afterwards. I did that for 2 to 3 years for them. I met my now ex Ashley at one of their dinner parties. When i am back in Maryland I serve my Boss' monthly Texas Holdem parties. many times I am in one of my five maid outfits. I love maid service.

Okay ...

... Bitches

Back on topic here!

Whoa ...

TO: All Employees RE: Swearing at work It’s has been brought to management's attention that some individuals throughout the company have been using foul language during the course of normal conversation with their co-workers. Due to complaints received from some employees who may be easily offended, this type of language will no longer be tolerated. We do, however, realize the critical importance of being able to accurately express your feelings when communicating with co-workers. Therefore, a list of 18 New and Innovative "TRY SAYING" phrases have been provided so that proper exchange of ideas and information can continue in an effective manner.

1) TRY SAYING: I think you could use more training. INSTEAD OF: You don't know what the f___ you're doing. 2) TRY SAYING: She's an aggressive go-getter. INSTEAD OF: She's a f___ing bit__.

3) TRY SAYING: Perhaps I can work late. INSTEAD OF: And when the f___ do you expect me to do this?

4) TRY SAYING: I'm certain that isn't feasible. INSTEAD OF: No f___ing way.
5) TRY SAYING: Really? INSTEAD OF: You've got to be sh___ing me!

6) TRY SAYING: Perhaps you should check with... INSTEAD OF: Tell someone who gives a sh__.

7) TRY SAYING: I wasn't involved in the project. INSTEAD OF: It's not my f___ing problem. 8) TRY SAYING: That's interesting. INSTEAD OF: What the f___?

9) TRY SAYING: I'm not sure this can be implemented. INSTEAD OF: This sh__ won't work. 10) TRY SAYING: I'll try to schedule that. INSTEAD OF: Why the f___ didn't you tell me sooner?

11) TRY SAYING: He's not familiar with the issues. INSTEAD OF: He's got his head up his a__.

12) TRY SAYING: Excuse me, sir? INSTEAD OF: Eat s h__ and die.

13) TRY SAYING: So you weren't happy with it? INSTEAD OF: Kiss my a__.

14) TRY SAYING: I'm a bit overloaded at the moment. INSTEAD OF: F__ it, I'm on salary.

15) TRY SAYING: I don't think you understand. INSTEAD OF: Shove it up your a__.

16) TRY SAYING: I love a challenge. INSTEAD OF: This f___ing job sucks.

17) TRY SAYING: You want me to take care of that? INSTEAD OF: Who the f___ died and made you boss?

18) TRY SAYING: He's somewhat insensitive. INSTEAD OF: He's a pr_ck.

The Devil's Asphalt

Three frogs are sitting on a lily pad. One of those frogs decides to jump. How many frogs are left?

If you said "two," think again. Just because the frog decided to jump, doesn't mean a thing. Because he didn't actually jump. He only intended to.

On any given morning, we can wake up and decide, "Today is the day I will...(insert behavior change here.)" Then, as the day goes on, we slip back into the pattern with which we are so very comfortable, even though we know there's a better choice to be made. One that makes life better for everyone.

We could talk about why this is. But that's a conversation better suited for a couch and a PhD with a steno pad and a fountain pen. So, instead, let's talk about how NOT doing what you know is best can be a quick way to lose your competitive edge, and miss a golden opportunity to bring attention and value to your brand.

Merely intending to do good without actually doing it is of little value. Yet, it is not uncommon for a good idea to show up out of nowhere, get talked about like it's the best idea on the planet, actually gain some immediate support and then die on the vine like a forgotten bunch of Cabernet grapes.

It happens all the time. Four people are sitting around after work at some happy hour joint talking shop. The next thing you know, someone starts playing "what if?" and pretty soon, the whole table has joined in. There's laughter, snorting, more drinking and a flood of ideas (many irreverent, but ideas, nonetheless). Then, everyone goes home with nary a bar napkin or note to remind them of the sudden burst of creativity that just happened out of thin air. Then everyone goes to sleep and forgets about it by morning, never realizing that it was good intentions and some social lubricant that shook (or stirred) the ideas up to begin with.

Nothing beats a decent idea backed by passion and the will to win.

When an idea makes sense, and gets people talking and joining in, that's creativity. If you ever find yourself in the middle of one of these situations, write things down. You don't have to do anything with them right away, just write. Because one day, one of those ideas will make perfect sense. Then, with some fortitude, what was once simply an expression of one's good intentions, can become something great and could be the value-add that makes a difference and sets you apart from the rest.

Pave your way to the promised land by capturing creativity as it happens. Otherwise, you may find yourself forever driving on the devil's asphalt.

Are You Buying What She's Selling?

The Needs have It ... When I was a marketing Guru the word I often heard on sales calls is "needs," as in, "What are your needs ...?" "Tell me about your needs in the area of ___." "I'd like to find out about your needs regarding ..." "We can fill your ___ needs."

For the most part, these phrases are useless to you, and might contribute to resistance. The reasoning is that if you hit someone with a vague question like, "What are your needs?", and they are not thinking about their needs at that very moment, what are you likely to hear? "Uh, we're satisfied with what we have," or, "We're doing fine where we are."

Bottom line, you will not get them talking about something they haven't thought of, or aren't thinking about at that second. As an alternative, frame a question around a need they likely have ... a question that helps them visualize and feel the need you can fill.

Don't force them to come up with the possible need on their own, you paint it for them, then ask them to react to it. For example, "Tell me about your ordering process, and how many different vendors you usually need to contact to find the parts you want."

IS THIS A SALES CALL? A question we probably all hear on occasion is, "Is this a sales call?" It typically comes from screeners looking to weed out sales reps who will just waste the boss' time. Here's a good response I heard while monitoring calls: "I don't know yet; If there's a fit for what we have, it might be. Otherwise, no. I specialize in working with I.T. managers, helping them reduce their workload and headaches regarding keeping track of the software they have installed on their machines. I'd like to ask Ms. Collins a few questions to see if we have the basis for further conversation."

GIVE YOUR NUMBER TWICE One of life's little voice mail annoyances is having to play a message back to write down a phone number. Do this: say your number twice ... once at the beginning of the message, then again at the end. You might even say, "Here's my number, 555-902-5594. I'll repeat it again at the end. The reason for calling is ..."

Ready To Serve

Some Funnies

A woman was complaining to the neighbor that her husband always came home late, no matter how she tried to stop him.

"Take my advice," said the neighbor, "and do what I did. Once my husband came home at three o'clock in the morning, and from my bed I called out: "Is that you, Jim?" And that cured him.

"Cured him ," asked the woman, "but how?"
The neighbor said, "You see, his name is Bill."



A modern day cowboy has spent many days crossing the Texas plains without water. His horse has already died of thirst. He's crawling through the sand, certain that he has breathed his last breath, when all of a sudden he sees an object sticking out of the sand several yards ahead of him. He crawls to the object, pulls it out of the sand, and discovers what looks to be an old briefcase. He opens it and out pops a genie. But this is no ordinary genie. She is wearing an FEMA (Federal Emergency Management Agency) ID badge and a dull gray dress. There's a calculator in her pocketbook.

She has a pencil tucked behind one ear. "Well, cowboy," says the genie... "You know how I work .. You have three wishes." "I'm not falling for this." said the cowboy... "I'm not going to trust a FEMA genie." "What do you have to lose? You've got no transportation, and it looks like you're a goner anyway!" The cowboy thinks about this for a minute, and decides that the genie is right. "OK!, I wish I were in a lush oasis with plenty of food and drink." ***POOF***

The cowboy finds himself in the most beautiful oasis he has ever seen, and he is surrounded with jugs of wine and platters of delicacies. "OK, cowpoke, what's your second wish." "My second wish is that I was rich beyond my wildest dreams." ***POOF***

The cowboy finds himself surrounded by treasure chests filled with rare gold coins and precious gems. "OK, cowpuncher, you have just one more wish. Better make it a good one!" After thinking for a few minutes, the cowboy says...

"I wish that no matter where I go, beautiful women will want and need me." ***POOF***

He turned into a tampon. The moral of the story: If the government offers you anything, there's going to be a string attached.

JUST LET ME ASK YOU A FEW QUESTIONS FIRST
Businesses are only as good as the people they hire. We've all come across people in stores, on the phone or in offices and wondered to ourselves "How did they get hired?" Well, sometimes there's not a lot out there to choose from. A questionnaire was sent out to Vice Presidents and personnel directors of the one hundred largest corporations asking them to describe their most unusual experience interviewing prospective employees. Here are some of their responses:

* A job applicant challenged the interviewer to an arm wrestle.
* Interviewee wore a Walkman, explaining that she could listen to the interviewer and the music at the same time.
* Candidate announced she hadn't had lunch and proceeded to eat a hamburger and French fries in the interviewers office.
* Candidate said he never finished high school because he was kidnapped and kept in a closet in Mexico.
* Applicant interrupted interview to phone her therapist for advice on how to answer specific interview questions.

Bad Accident
A woman and a man are involved in a car accident. It's a bad one. Both of their cars are totally demolished but amazingly neither of them are hurt. After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says, "So you're a man,that's interesting. I'm a woman. Wow, just look at our cars! There nothing left but fortunately we are unhurt. "This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days." The man replied," I agree with you completely. This must be a sign from God!" The woman continued, "And look at this, here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished, but this bottle of wine didn't break! Sure God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune." The she hands the bottle to the man. The man nods his head in agreement, opens it and drinks half the bottle, and then hands it back to the woman. The woman takes the bottle, immediately puts the cap back on, and hands it back to the man. The man asks "Aren't you having any?" The woman replies, "No. I think I'll just wait for the police."


The Naked Refrigerator Guy
Three men approached the gate to heaven and as there was only one opening left, the gatekeeper said that whoever had the most remarkable and worthy death could enter.
He asked the first man how he died, and the man replied, 'Imagine this -- I suspected my wife was having an affair behind my back and I wanted to find out the truth. I came home from work one day to surprise her and catch her in the act. When I searched the house I found her in the bathroom. The mirror was fogged and she had a towel on but her hair wasn't wet, so I knew she wasn't taking a shower. I looked all around the house to find the guy.

I found ten fingers hanging onto the window sill outside. I pounded them until he finally let go. When he fell he landed in some bushes and God must have loved him because he lived, so I threw the refrigerator out the window to finish him off. After all the excitement I fell dead of a heart attack.' Then the gatekeeper asked the second man how he died.

He replied, 'Imagine this -- I'm minding my own business on top of my apartment building. I was riding one of those stationary bicycles when the screws gave out and I flew off the side. I reached out and caught a window sill, then some idiot started pounding on my fingertips. When I fell I landed in some bushes and God must have loved me because I lived. But then that same idiot threw his refrigerator out the window and it crushed me.' 'That, too, is horrible,' said the gate keeper.

Then he asked the third man the same question. His reply was, 'OK, imagine this, I'm naked in a refrigerator...'

A guy out on the golf course takes a high speed ball right in the crotch. Writhing in agony, he falls to the ground, when he finally gets himself to the doctor. He says, "How bad is it doc? I'm going on my honeymoon next week and my fiancée is still a virgin in every way."

The doc said , "I'll have to put your penis in a splint to let it heal and keep it straight. It should be okay next week." So he took four tongue depressors and formed a neat little 4-sided bandage, and wired it all together; an impressive work of art. The guy mentions none of this to his girl, marries, and on his honeymoon night in the motel room, she rips open her blouse to reveal a gorgeous set of breasts. This was the first time he saw them.

She says, "You are my FIRST, no one has ever touched these breasts." He whips down his pants and says... " Look at this, it's still in the CRATE!"

We have all our clothes on. I lean back on the leather sofa across from him, casting my eyes around the nearly empty bar. Smiles.I slowly spread my her legs, just a little."What are you doing?" He asksSmile.I push my legs apart a little wider. I know he can see most of the way up my thighs. Not quite all the way.No one's noticed. Yet.

Smile. I know I’m being bad."More wine?" I say to him, pleasantly, pulling my skirt up again, knees together, and then I lean forward to pick up the bottle. "Please." He asks!"Good to see you again. It's been too long." As I smile and glance up from pouring the wine."You too."

He responds, “I take my glass. Full.”"So, what do we do now?" I smile. I guess he already knows the answer.

Two fishermen were adrift in their rented boat due to an engine failure. While rummaging through the boat's provisions, one of the men stumbled across an old lamp. Secretly hoping that a genie would appear, he rubbed the lamp vigorously. To the amazement of the castaways, a genie came forth.

This particular genie, however, stated that he could only deliver one wish, not the standard three. Without giving much thought to the matter the man blurted out, "Make the entire ocean into beer!" The genie clapped his hands with a deafening crash, and immediately the entire sea turned into the finest brew ever sampled by mortals. Simultaneously, the genie vanished.

Only the gentle lapping of beer on the hull broke the stillness as the men considered their circumstances. One man looked disgustedly at the other whose wish had been granted. After a long, tension-filled moment, he spoke: "Nice going idiot! Now we're going to have to piss in the boat!"

Are You Calling Me A Lady?

Let's describe a spectrum of activities that might be negotiable. In all cases, remember that the lady calls the shots and determines when and where the end game is. To help, below are some lists to use as a start in negotiation. I like the list approach because using them will firmly establish what the word "blowjob" means between the partners and will eliminate any misunderstanding and miscommunication.

The lady of course may use her position on these lists to negotiate other activities or favors that she wants. Turnabout is fair play, after all.There are essentially two areas of negotiation in what will occur during a blowjob, and you must agree on both before any activity takes place. There is a list for each area below.

1. Establish the limits on which parts of his penis she will stimulate and exactly how the stimulation will take place.

2. Agree on whether or not stimulation will proceed to ejaculation, and more importantly, where the ejaculate will end up. It is helpful to establish a 'warning word' to use when ejaculation is imminent, in case it's not obvious. Something other than "thar' she blows!" would be appropriate.So here we go. Honestly and openly share each of the lists below with your partner, see where each of you draw the line, and establish what your 'voluntary exchange zone' is before any activity occurs.

True Story -- from the Houston Medical Center

A man went to the ER to have his wedding ring cut off from his penis. According to the Nurse attending, the patient's girl friend found the ring In his pants pocket and she got so mad at him, she used Petroleum Jelly to Slip the ring on his penis while he was asleep.Now you decide what's worse:

1) Having your girl friend find out you're married.

2) Explaining to your wife how your wedding ring got on your Penis.

3) Or finding out your penis fits through your wedding ring.

Buying for Your Man

When it comes to sexy gifts for men there are only a few things you need to avoid. These are fairly common things.

For starters, avoid things you know he won’t like (obviously!). If he doesn’t own any thongs do not assume this one is going to be the one to convert him. Most men are very underwear loyal. If he wears boxers then find him a sexy pair, but do not assume you can convince him to wear something else.

If you are

toy shopping, do not focus on things you can use on him.While you might think these things are romantic they could actually be a turn-off. If he is not interested in anal toys, restraints, or whips then you will either end up buying him something that he can use on you or something like massage oil, which is nice but not something just for him.

Consider buying him a masturbatory toy such as a love doll, and inflatable doll, or a handheld device for private moments alone.

When You are Trying to Romance Him…

Avoid the Following:
· Whips, Chains, or Restraints for Men that Don’t Want to be Tied Up
· Anal Toys for Men that Have Never Spoken of Anal Sex
· Thongs for Boxer Boys

Get Him These Instead:
· A Beginner Anal Toy for a Curious Possible Receiver
· A Sexy Pair of Boxers or Briefs (thongs if he wears them)
· A Cock Ring or Other Sexual A Cock Ring or other Performance Enhancer

Top 10 Most Romantic Songs

In case you were thinking of putting together a play list for that someone special here are what the team considers their top ten romantic songs.
1: Amazed by Lonestar
2: I Knew I Loved You by Savage Garden
3: Don't Want To Miss A Thing by Aerosmith
4: Unchained Melody by Righteous Brothers
5: From This Moment On by Shania Twain
6: Back At One by Brian McKnight
7: Wonderful Tonight by Eric Clapton
8: Everything I Do (I Do For You) by Bryan Adams
9: My Heart Will Go On by Celine Dion
10: To Make You Feel My Love by Garth Brooks

Tip Logic!

Scenario: After a few hours at a $10 blackjack table in Las Vegas, you suddenly hit two blackjacks in a row and find yourself up $150.

How Much To Tip--And Why: $20. Casino dealers aren't tipped as consistently as, say, waiters. But it's good karma (which every gambler needs) to tip an occasional chip or two, especially when you're winning. And absolutely tip the waitresses serving free cocktails: $2 per drink at the minimum. There's no need to tip if you've only played two hands at a table, however. And if you're down a few hundred bucks, tipping the dealer doesn't guarantee your fortunes will change.

More Tips

Tight-legged
Getting into the typical doggie stance, have your girl keep her legs closed and open yours around them. As well, get her to arch her back and lean on her hands rather than lean down and rest on her elbows on the bed (or whatever surface you happen to be on). To help her maintain that stance, wrap your hand around her hair and give it an occasional tug while you're having sex.In addition to hair-pulling, you can rub her spine lightly and even hug her waist while you penetrate her.

Air-Drying Your Hair
Every once in awhile, air-drying your hair can be good for it -- as long as you do it right. Make sure you use an absorbent towel to speed up drying time, and blot your hair gently instead of rubbing it (rubbing can cause frizziness and split ends). For extra volume and waves, pull your hair back with large clips until it dries.

What Were We Talking About?

In hopes of helping you single guys (and the players) get laid I wanted to share some good research that Men’s Health has published. They completed a study on the 12 stages of seduction. I’m not going to get into the science of the shit - just straight down to business. A total of 1000 chicks participated so it’s got to be somewhat true.

Best way to get it started
Surprisingly, 53% of the chicks fall for the straightforward approach. They don’t look for the cutesy creative little things that we all try to pull off. Keep it simple and you’ll get her out with you. Example - I think you’re great let’s have dinner. You free on Friday night? Keep in mind that your confidence level counts; don’t be so damn confident that you seem certain she’ll go for it. She’ll sense that and probably shamelessly shoot you down.

Keep it going after dinner
The last thing you want to do is invite her right back to your place (unless she’s literally asking for it.) 54% of the women said they prefer building up intimacy in stages so try to keep it slow cowboy. Ease your way into things, suggest going to a really good ice cream place around the corner.

Fork in the road
At this point, you’ll need to decide whether or not she seems open for going back to your place (or hers.) Watch for small signs of attraction, if she holds your arm during the night or touches your leg at dinner. As small as they might seem, these are your deciding factors. If you decide it’s a go, take the chance and suggest renting a DVD or having a drink to end out the night. If she declines don’t push it (or you’ll risk crashing burning this one for good.)

Buddy, you’re almost set
67% of the women said that once they’re back your place, they’re 75% ready. Now, most of the battle is left up to your state of your place. Make sure your bathroom is halfway decent and that you’re walls aren’t empty. Pictures and photos make you seem warm and connected. 70% want a chance to relax and talk first don’t jump on her. That first move or kiss is always intense so try your best to lighten up the mood. If she’s chattering away and coming up with new conversations, she’s not ready.

Move in, slowly
61% of the women said a short and sweet kiss to start is better (Save your best tongue technique for later.) Kiss gently around her mouth, face, neck, and ears. Follow her lead from here. Pay attention to her passion levels; if she’s just itching to move on go with it. You’ve got to let it escalate naturally. Remember your physics, for every action there’s a reaction (this could never be more important.)

Nikkij can be had at hello!

Thoughts While Exposing My Clitty

The Head Shake Don't emulate the exaggerated oral techniques in porn movies, especially that move where the guy sticks his tongue straight out and instead of licking, shakes his whole head side to side between the woman's legs till his ears slap against her thighs.

It looks dumb even on camera and it doesn't work in real life.

It's good to lick, and it's good to keep your tongue loose and relaxed. But don't get sloppy or slobbery. Use a little restraint and don't pant. If your oral technique reminds her of her pet Golden Retriever, that won't be a turn-on. At least, we hope not. A Woman knows what another woman wants ... trust so does a tgirl!

Thinking About Dancing ...Your first and most important concern is to find a suitable club. It needs to be a place where you feel safe and comfortable. It doesn't matter how good the money is, if the place makes you feel bad about yourself you'll be miserable working there. Go to the Ultimate Strip Club List and look for clubs in your area.

The reviews will give you a very good idea of whether it's a place you want to work. i.e. If the guy says, "Wow, it was great. This girl let me feel her up" It's obviously not a place you want to work. Looking for a good club is like looking for any other job- you want to get the most money for the least amount of work.

Licking Pussy -- It's fine to make some noise while eating pussy. Moaning is OK; most women like that. Even slurping is acceptable within limits. But sticking your face up in her bush and blowing raspberries or making fart sounds is not going to go over well. Neither will burping.

Do you know what day this is?
Over breakfast one morning, a woman said to her husband, "I bet you don't know what day this is." "Of course I do," he indignantly answered. "How could you think I would forget?" Whereupon he left for the office. At 10 AM, the doorbell rang, and when the woman opened the door, she was handed a box containing a dozen long stemmed red roses. At 1 PM, a foil wrapped, two pound box of her favorite chocolates arrived. Later, a boutique delivered a designer dress. The woman couldn't wait for her husband to come home. "First the flowers, then the chocolate and then the dress!" she exclaimed. "I've never had a more wonderful 'Arbor Day' in all my life!"

"Personally I know nothing about sex because I have always been married." --Zsa Zsa Gabor

"The difference between pornography and erotica is lighting." --Gloria Leonard "There's no shortage of pussy- it's just the delivery system that's messed up." --Dr. Roy V. Schenk

"Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps." --Emo Phillips

"The penis mightier than the sword." --Mark Twain

"Sex is dirty only if it's done right." --Woody Allen

"Sex-appeal is the keynote of our whole civilization." --Henri Bergson

"No sex is better than bad sex." --Germaine Greer

"My husband's German. Every night I get dressed up as Poland and he invades me." --Bette Midler

"Give a man free hands, and you'll know where to find them." --Mae West

"The art of life lies in taking pleasures as they pass, and the keenest pleasures are not intellectual, nor are they always moral." --Aristippus

"Graze on my lips; and if those hills be dry, stray lower, where the pleasant fountains lie." --William Shakespeare

"Give me chastity and continence- but not yet." --Saint Augustine

"Whoever named it necking was a poor judge of anatomy." --Groucho Marx

"If sex is such a natural phenomenon, how come there are so many books on how to do it?" --Bette Midler

Caution

An old lady was rocking away the last of her days on her front porch, reflecting on her long life, when all of a sudden a fairy godmother appeared in front of her and informed her that she will be granted three wishes. "Well, now," says the old lady, "I guess I would like to be really rich." POOF! Her rocking chair turns to solid gold. "And, gee, I guess I wouldn't mind being a young, beautiful princess." POOF! She turns into a beautiful young woman. "Your third wish?" asks the fairy godmother. Just then the old woman's cat wanders across the porch in front of them. "Ooh can you change him into a handsome prince and make him my husband?" she asks. POOF! There, before her stands a young man more handsome than anyone she could possibly imagine. She stares at him, smitten. With a smile that makes her knees weak, he saunters across the porch and whispers in her ear: "Bet you’re sorry you had me neutered."

A top-producing salesperson recently had a Botox injection to eliminate some lines in her forehead. According to a colleague of hers, this sales pro is can hardly wait for the effects to wear off. Why? She can't frown.

When the customer reveals a problem or pain, all she can do is look back at him with her unfurrowed brow. She's concerned that not being able to show concern is hurting her sales. Empathy is a critical sales trait. Can you empathize with a salesperson who currently is unable to?

What unintended consequences will your next action create?

Thinking About

BLUE: Lovers of blue are wonderful sex partners. They are sinners, affectionate and sensitive to their partner's needs. They consider love making a fine art and their approach is elegant. Men who love blue are like concert pianists, delicately ravaging their partner like they would play a baby grand. Women in the blue category enjoy sex to the fullest.

They are exciting partners but their passion may be compared to a tidal wave rather than fiery aggression. Both women and men enjoy foreplay and the aftermath of lovemaking, as much as the sex act itself. In marriage a blue person is a wonderful mate, never seeking outside interests.

Spice up any oral technique by adding the "twist and swirl." The combination of firm fingers and a soft tongue feels fantastic, and it's easy to master: As you're using your hand to masturbate him, twist it slightly once it reaches the head.

At the same time, swirl the flat of your tongue around the rim of the head. It's a simple but oh-so-effective move! Also try frenulum flicks: Use a tensed tongue to flick it, or make like a butterfly and "flutter" your tongue on his frenulum.

I Bet You Are Not Thinking About Airline Stress Now?

Now check out these 10 REAL ways that Airlines can reduce travel stress and improve passenger cooperation and behavior.

Give those hot moist towelettes to everybody on the flight. The hot towel amenity common in first class is both highly relaxing and very humanizing. I find it almost instantly relaxes and refreshes me. It's a little thing, but these add up.

Give everybody a bottle of water on their way onto the airplane. This is another "first class" amenity. Good hydration in the midst of reduced aircraft humidity and air conditioning is important. When you feel better, you act better. This is especially true when the plane is small and the seats are full.

Suggest an ideal time in flight for restroom breaks. Schedule a suggested rest room visit by passengers before cabin beverage service and several minutes before the "fasten seat belts for landing" call. This prevents the "bolt to the bathroom" at inconvenient operational times.

Sell good quality food products onboard. US Airways does this and it works WELL. I've eaten enough Biscoff cookies thanks. For flights longer than two hours, give me the option to buy something good to eat. Most people will pay for the choice and be happy to do it.

Show the good behavior films to the Flight Attendants. Flight Attendants are only human. Crowded flights, smaller planes, and high-pressure turn times don't seem to make a good combination. Good behavior is a two way street. Cranky passengers surely make for cranky Flight Attendants. If the flight attendant is stressed, nothing in the back of the bus is going to go well.

Captains need to talk more. Airlines often push back from the gate in order to preserve government mandated on-time departure statistics, only to go to a reserve holding lot for an extended wait before departure. Most passengers are irritated, but understand this is air traffic controlled. Pilots who communicate both the "why" and the "how long", early in the wait will find that the folks in the back really appreciate the information. Captains who forget about the passengers really create irritation. This goes for weather holds too. Air travels' biggest weakness is the lack of control passengers feel once aboard the plane. When you are in an uncomfortable place, with no possibility of escape, and little control over of your environment, tempers are going to flare. Nobody wants to be treated like cargo.

Flight Attendants who have control of the aircraft PA system need to speak good, fluent English. While there is an absolute need for international air crews, it is often difficult to understand cabin personnel for whom English is a second language. Accents can be hard to understand. Multi-lingual staffing is a requirement in today's global environment, but give the microphone to an American on US domestic flights. It really does help.

Go back to Airline flight crew height and weight restrictions. When one of the videos from Delta concerns passengers bumping into each other on their way to the lavatory, airlines ought to consider the same when an overweight flight attendant trundles down the aisle with a beverage cart. I've gotten hip checked more times than I want to count!

Offer a discount to Passengers who CHECK baggage. Airline turn times decrease by as much as 10 minutes per turn when passengers all check baggage. That much was proven in 2005 when TSA first restricted all liquids in carry on baggage. However, for purposes of convenience and fear of lost bags, most passengers take the ubiquitous "black roll aboard" bag onto the airplane. Getting on and off the plane works twice as fast when people check bags. I do it every week. Given the savings involved for the airline, give passengers a piece of the savings for playing along. Discounting is only one option. How about increasing the number of frequent flyer miles awarded for flights where passengers check bags or day passes to airline clubs?

Steal an Idea from the Parcel Carriers - provide real time baggage tracking. If you want people to check bags, provide a scanning update to a passengers PDA just like you can get from any of the parcel carriers when an express package passes a scan point. I'm a lot happier checking bags when I change planes if I get a message that says my bag made the same change.

I Love These

What Would Bill Gates Pay Me?

1. Bill Gates earns US$250 every SECOND, that's about US$20 Million a DAY and US$7.8 Billion a YEAR!

2. If he drops a thousand dollar, he won't even bother to pick it up bcoz the 4 seconds he picks it, he would've already earned it back.

3. The US national debt is about 5.62 trillion, if Bill Gates were to pay the debt by himself; he will finish it in less then 10 years.

4. He can donate US$15 to everyone on earth but still be left with US$5 Million for his pocket money.

5. Michael Jordan is the highest paid athlete in US. If he doesn't drink and eat, and keeps up his annual income i.e. US$30 Million, he'll have to wait for 277 years to become as rich as Bill Gates is now.

6. If Bill Gates was a country, he would be the 37th richest country on earth.

7. If you change all of Bill Gate's money to US$1 notes, you can make a road from earth to moon, 14 times back and forth. But you have to make that road non-stop for 1,400 years, and use a total of 713 BOEING 747 planes to transport all the money.

8. Bill Gates is 40 this year. If we assume that he will live for another 35 years, he has to spend US$6.78 Million per day to finish all his money before he can go to heaven.

Last but not the least: If Microsoft Windows' users can claim US$1 for every time their computers hang because of Microsoft Windows, Bill Gates will be bankrupt in 3 years!

My Nips Are Small .. Maybe I Will

NEW YORK -- You've had your breasts enhanced and now you have that Jayne Mansfield look. But something's still missing. Your nipples just don't have that perk.

Enter one of the fastest growing cosmetic surgeries in the United States... nipple enlargement. New York-based nipple surgeon Bruce Nadler performs the procedure on half a dozen people a year and says most do it because they want the "teasing look " of an erect nipple all the time.
Still others - mostly men - are nipple fetishists who want their nipples to be the biggest, most desirable nipples possible.

The "super-sizing" is done with injections of collagen or cartilage taken from the patient's ear. Dr. Nadler says another popular procedure is nipple reduction surgery, which is done mostly by women who are self conscious about looking nipply in cold weather.

Some Thoughts While Stroking ...

Yes, men are easily smitten by a babe who looks like she came straight off the box cover of an adult video. Here, once again, it's all in the visuals. Whether it's the way she unabashedly embraces her sexuality or the "come hither" look on her face, the girl who looks and acts wanton will always have a horde of men buzzing around her.

Want proof? Count the number of strip clubs in your town.

Friend recruitment
The very astute woman will go right to the source in her quest to manipulate you -- the one place you go to for your ideas and support. Your friends. On a night out with your pals she might take advantage of moments alone with them to drop hints about what's on her mind, things she might like, and ideas for things that would make her happy. The goal here, of course, is simple. If you go to your friends in the days leading up to Christmas or her birthday looking for ideas, your pals might just mimic back her desired gift list.Counterattack: You could stoop to her level and do the same with her friends. Instead of focusing on gift ideas, getting her friends to see your side of arguments or agree with you on general things that crop up in your relationship will drive her insane. If her friends stick up for you in arguments, she's lost her rant support system. Be careful here, though; sometimes this manipulation tactic will leave you in a crunch, so tread lightly.

Natural Highlights
Run a bit of lemon juice through your hair, then sit in the sun for 15-20 minutes, for natural, subtle highlights. Be sure to condition afterwards so the lemon doesn't irritate your scalp.
Static-Free Hair Problems with static when you brush your hair? Take a tiny bit of lotion and run it through your hair ... but not at the roots. This will make it much more manageable and keep the static away.

1. It's an incentive to show up.

2. It reduces stress.

3. It leads to more honest communication.

4. It reduces complaints about low pay.

5. It cuts down on time off because you can work with a hangover.

6. Employees tell management what they think, not what management wants to hear.

7. It helps save on heating costs in the winter.

8. It encourages carpooling.

9. It increases job satisfaction because if you have a bad job, you don't realize it.

10. It eliminates vacations because people would rather come to work.

11. It makes fellow employees look better.

12. It makes conversations easier.

13. It promotes honesty.

14. It makes the cafeteria food taste better.

15. Bosses are more likely to hand out raises when they are wasted.

16. Salary negotiations are a lot more profitable.

17. Suddenly, farting during a meeting isn't so embarrassing.

Wash Your Hands

CHICAGO (Reuters) - Americans' hands are getting dirtier, U.S. researchers said on Monday.

They said 77 percent of more than 6,000 men and women washed their hands in public restrooms -- a 6 percent decline compared with a similar study in 2005.

According to the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, handwashing in the single-most important prevention step for reducing disease transmission.
In a telephone survey, 92 percent of adults said they wash their hands in public conveniences, according to the study done by the American Society for Microbiology and The Soap and Detergent Association.

But the study, which also conducted research at public restrooms, showed people's actions were not always matching their claims.

Men were the biggest offenders, with just 66 percent of men seen washing their hands in public bathrooms, compared with 88 percent of the women, according to study presented at the Interscience Conference on Antimicrobial Agents and Chemotherapy meeting in Chicago.
"Very clearly, guys need to step up to the sink," said Brian Sansoni, a spokesman for the soap industry group, told reporters. "One third of guys weren't washing their hands in public restrooms. That's gross."

Researchers staked out restrooms at different types of venues in four U.S. cities: Chicago's Shedd Aquarium and the Museum of Science and Industry, Atlanta's Turner Field, New York's Grand Central Station and Penn Station and San Francisco's Ferry Terminal Farmer's Market.
Men's hygiene was worst at Atlanta's Turner Field, where just 57 percent of men were observed washing their hands after using the toilet at the baseball venue. But 95 percent of women there washed their hands, the highest percentage observed in the study.

Chicago was the city with the cleanest hands overall. New York was the second-cleanest, Atlanta came in third, and then San Francisco.

While handwashing trends in public toilets appear to be on the decline, the more than 1,000 men and women surveyed by telephone in the study reported virtually no change in their habits.
The researchers could not account for why people appear to be washing their hands less in public bathrooms. And they admitted that because the research was done in different venues, it was not scientifically valid.

But they said the trend is troubling.

"Fifteen to 20 seconds of friction and soap and water will remove so many germs from your hands and help with your wellbeing. That is a marvellous intervention that will work all over the world," Judy Daly, director of the Microbiology Laboratories at the Primary Children's Medical Center in Salt Lake City, Utah, told reporters.

Cages and Shaving ... Thoughts...

This shiny, gallant chrome cock cage padlocks to secure a happy slave so that his manhood - or tgirl clit) is only available for your owner (or those you provide keys).

This chastity device requires two parts: the chrome cock cage attaches to the hinged chrome ring and holds a lock at the point of attachment. These parts are sold separately. The cage is one-size-fits-most; the ring is available in four sizes.
I own one! Do you... or better yet want toown one?

I would never tell a girl what to do with her pubic hair, but I can’t remember seeing a bush since the middle of high school.

If I had a preference towards bald it wouldn’t matter anyway because that’s all I seem to encounter. (Nikkij is bald!)

I know some people want to blame pornography, but seeing as a lot of women start grooming really young I can't imagine they know what guys are looking at. They say that fashions are cyclical, but I hardly expect a '70s bush to come back into vogue any time soon.

Does hairless feel better? Do most girls go hairless or is it just me?”

Booty Call Rules

1 No holding hands. Keep hands to the crotch-el region.

#2 No spending the night.

#3 Fifteen minutes of cuddling max. But affection is generally discouraged beyond Aww, you are such a great fuck!

#4 Do not enter upon a fuck buddy arrangement or situation while drunk. There’s a difference between a one-night stand and a fuck buddy (yet another post). Although entering either drunk is not wise. God forbid there’s a beer-goggles situation. You don’t want to go to bed with Will Smith and wake up with Steve Urkel, do you? Besides, don’t you want to be sober enough to remember all the marvelous sex you had the night before?

#5 No toothbrushes. Refer to #2. There should be no ties at all, even if they cost only $2.49 and secretly you let your other fuck buddy use the same one.

#6 Don’t discuss anything real. No family history, no favorite colors, no goals, no personal triumphs or tragedies. If you want to keep it real, you have to stay light: movies, bands, and favorite brands of booze.

#7 He is not obligated to have sex with you while you’re having your period. Most nice boyfriends will, but fuck buddies have the option to pass. If he doesn’t mind, then cool.

#8 No sweetie, honey, schmoopie allowed. The only pillow-talk is fuck me harder, ride me bitch, or suck this big cock.

#9 No dinners, no movies, no quality timeâ of any sort. If you insist on going out at all, meet him at a bar for drinks no earlier than ten pm. The hour between nine and ten is the grey zone between when a real date starts and when itâ’s just a hook-up. So if you ever wonder why a guy asks you out for a date so late, it’s because he doesn’t want to have to go through the effort of buying you dinner and talking, he just wants to get to the good stuff.

#10 Two guys in twenty-four hours is fine, just be discreet.

So do have a f*ck buddy?

Seattle Trolley Line Has Acronym: SLUT

SEATTLE (AP) - Officially, it's the South Lake Union Streetcar. But in the neighborhood where the new line runs, it's called the South Lake Union Trolley - or, the SLUT. At Kapow! Coffee, a shop in the old Cascade neighborhood, 100 T-shirts bearing the words "Ride the SLUT" sold out in days, and another 100 are on order.
"We're welcoming the SLUT into the neighborhood," said Jerry Johnson, 29, a part-time barista.

Some claim - incorrectly, according to representatives of Vulcan Inc., the company that is developing the area - that South Lake Union Trolley was the original name and that it was changed when officials belatedly realized the acronym.
The $50.5 million project should be completed with streetcars running in December. Underlying the lighthearted opposition, however, is resentment over changes in the old working-class neighborhood.

"There was a meeting with representatives from the city several years ago," Johnson recalled.

"They asked us, 'What we could do for you?' Most people raised their hands and said, 'Affordable housing,'" he said. "Then the people from the city huddled together - 'whisper, whisper, whisper,' - and they said, 'How about a trolley?'"

Since then, Cascade has been ignored in Vulcan brochures that lump the neighborhood together with Denny Park and Denny Triangle under the term South Lake Union. With the streetcar, said Don Clifton, a Cascade resident, "We learned how fun it is to change the name of things."

The History of Condoms

Condoms have been around for a very long time. Here's a brief summary of the history of condoms.

1000 BC Condom use can be traced back several thousand years. Images from about 1000 BC portray the ancient Egyptians wearing a linen sheath. It's up for discussion as to whether they wore it for protection or for ritual reasons.
100 – 200 AD The earliest evidence of condom use in Europe comes from scenes in cave paintings at Combarelles in France.
1500s In Italy, research by Gabrielle Fallopius found the linen sheath useful for prevention of infection, and later its usefulness for the prevention of pregnancy was recognized.
1700s How did condoms get their name? Some believe it was named for "Dr. Condom," who supplied King Charles II of England with animal tissue sheaths. Others believe the name came from a "Dr. Condon" or "Colonel Cundum." It likely came from the Latin word "condom," which means "receptacle."
1844 Goodyear and Hancock began to mass-produce condoms made out of vulcanized rubber, which is a stronger and more elastic material.
1861 The first advertisement for condoms was published in an American newspaper when The New York Times printed an ad for "Dr. Power's French Preventatives."
1873 The Comstock Law was passed. It prohibited the advertising of any sort of birth control, and it also allowed the postal service to confiscate condoms sold through the mail.
1880s The first latex condom was produced, although it was to be the 1930s before these were in widespread use.
Early 1900s Social hygienists fought to prohibit the use of condoms by Americans, resulting in U.S. troops in World War I having the highest rate of STDs — over 70%! By World War II, a more realistic attitude had emerged and the government aggressively promoted the use of condoms.
1960s The sexual revolution of the '60s resulted in a decline in condom use as more and more youth practiced free love — without condom usage.
1980s HIV, the virus that causes AIDS, was identified, and the Surgeon General stated that other than abstinence, the most effective way to protect against HIV is to use a latex condom each and every time you have sex.
1990s The 1990s saw the introduction of a large number of different types of condoms, including colors, ribbed, studded, flavors, baggy-shaped and large, as well as the first polyurethane condom.

I Wonder What Wine Goes With Dog Biscuits?

Pairing the perfect wine to meals can be challenging for hosts and hostesses. But with a basic understanding of combinations and some creativity of your own, it is actually hard to get it wrong. The first thing to remember is that there really are no strict rules for pairing a particular wine with a type of food. If something tastes good, go with it -- and enjoy.
Here are a few pointers to get you started:

Try to match a wine's sweetness, flavor, acidity, etc., with that of the food you are pairing it with. Your wine is meant to complement the taste of the dish, not overpower it.

For the most part, the color of the wine goes with meat of the same color; white wines with white meats; red wines with red meat; however, this is a rule meant to be broken.

Typically red wines should be served at slightly below room temperature (65° - 60°) with the exception being light bodied red wines. These benifit from being chilled slightly. White wines can be served chilled (55° - 60°) but not cold; this is to be left for Champagnes and sparkling wines.

Although you are well on your way to making your own combinations, check out the recommended food and wine combinations below (we've also included one listing for beer):

Red Wines
Cabernet Sauvignon
Dry • Medium to full bodied • Tannic
Red meat, BBQ, chicken, hamburgers, wild game, pork, duck, most cheeses

Merlot
Dry • Full bodied
Roasted poultry, chicken, casseroles, lamb, venison, pasta, mild cheese, strong cheese

Pinot Noir
Dry • Light to medium bodied
Poultry, roast beef or pork, pork, veal, lamb, game, duck, grilled seafood, pasta, mild cheese

Syrah/Shiraz
Dry • Full bodied
Poultry, beef, stews, chili, duck, lamb, goose, strong cheese

Zinfandel
Dry • Medium bodied
Italian food, Spicy stews, chili, lamb, mexican food, pasta, pizza, strong cheese

Chianti
Very • dry Medium to full bodied
Italian food, Pasta, pizza, chicken cacciatore, eggplant parmegiana

Beaujolais
Dry • Light bodied
Appetizers, Thai food, kabobs, sandwiches, seafood, mild cheese

White Wines
Chardonnay
Dry - Very dry • Full bodied
Poultry, ham, Chinese food, sandwiches, lobster, fish, seafood, shellfish, shrimp, pasta, vegetables, and mild cheese

Sauvignon Blanc
Dry • Light to medium bodied
Appetizers, salad, chicken, fish, seafood, shellfish, ham, mexican food, strong cheeses, desserts

Pinot Gris/Grigio
Dry • Light to medium bodied • Crisp
Sandwichs, fish, lobster, pizza, veal, poultry, mild cheese

Riesling
Semi-sweet to Dry • Light bodied
Fruit salad, chicken, pork, fish, Chinese food, shellfish, sushi, sashimi, rabbit, mild and soft cheese, fruity desserts

Gewurztraminer
Semi-dry • Light to medium bodied
Poultry, fish, Thai food, BBQ, mild cheese

Champagne
Apetizers, fish, lobster, desserts

Beer
Indian food, very spicy foods, sushi, sashimi, pizza