Getting Ready!

Swing Low!

Tiffany Amber Rhoads

I Always Thought It Was Kinky Sex!

Which is the universe's strongest magnet?

A neutron star is the strongest magnet in the universe. The magnetic field of a neutron star is a million million times stronger than Earth's magnetism.

Facts About The Penis

Over 90% of all men have a penis size that is between 6.25 and 7.2 inches when fully erect. Most would not consider this a big penis. You can enlarge your penis quicker by using natural penis enlargement pills and a natural penis enlargement exercise at home. Over 32 million men in the USA alone suffer from various degrees of Erectile Dysfunction (Impotence). Most men when asked "how would you increase the size of your penis", they would enlarge their penis naturally...using natural penis enlargement products. In a penis size survey, the average penis size was 6.5 inches. In a poll conducted by Durex™ Condoms, 67% of women said that they were unsatisfied with the size of their partner's penis size . Most men (85%-average) ejaculate within 3 minutes of penetrating their partner, and some 85% of women report almost never having orgasms during intercourse. This is known as premature ejaculation. By age 27, 97% of men have 1/5 the number of erections they did when they were 20. Some 98% of men have a penis that is considerably weaker, smaller and less developed than what they could possess. Penis Exercises can help. Studies say that at least 1 in 5 relationship failures is due to sexual dysfunction or impotence sexual dysfunction. Penis exercises can help impotence treatment, and can cure or treat impotence. By age 50, the average man will have lost half an inch from the length of his penis. You can increase penis length by natural penis enlargement methods. Nearly 90% of men would increase the size of their penis if they could do so affordably and safely. Over 75% of men have poor or restricted blood flow to their penis and testicles. Circulation has a direct impact on sexual performance and sex-drive. Very Interesting!

Searching For The Surprise Perhaps

Tara Emory ... The Perfect Maid!

French Maids Rule!

A Maid's Work Is Never Done!

Who's Guilty

GUILTY DICK - The dick you're getting from someone who is not your man. Ladies who have cheated on their man temporarily can say, "AMEN" to this type of dick.

Ladies, this is the type of dick that makes you cry and confess to your man you fucked someone else. The guilty dick made you want to tell somebody. Guilty dick is in a class of its own.
Guilty dick will make you look and feel different about the dick you got at home. Guilty dick makes you have multiple orgasms. Makes you cry and you have no clue to why. This dick is so intense, when it is being administered it sends you into a trance.

He has a slow, long stroke, sweats on you, asks you if your comfortable about six times, you started at 6PM and it is now going on 9PM and he is not tired and hasn't cum yet. The lips on your pussy are so swollen that if you got out of bed they would be draggin' the ground. It hurt so good.

He licks on your pussy as if he was a baby cat licking warm milk he savors it like you're the main course meal. He smells it like fine wine. By now you're in shock and forget about your man. He has at least two inches more than your man. When you're back with your man, you're wondering why he can't perform like guilty dick

You even have the nerve to get mad and then instruct him to do what guilty dick did to you

Classics

Blame It On The Upstairs Maid!

A lady walked into a drugstore and told the pharmacist she needed some cyanide. The pharmacist said, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?"

The lady then explained that she needed it to poison her husband. The pharmacist's eyes got big and he said, "Lord have mercy, I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband! That's against the law! They'll throw both of us in jail and I'll lose my license."

Then the lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife, and handed it to the pharmacist. The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, "Well now, you didn't tell me you had a prescription."

A Maid's Work is Never Done!

There Are Many Options For Maid Service

Look Into My Eyes

1- Always look at someone directly in their eyes when they are speaking to you. This may seem difficult at first but it’s definitely the #1 body language ingredient to make you successful when interacting with others. Note: Do not ever stare at someone.2- Always stand up straight. You never want to slouch. Not only does this make you appear shorter but it projects an image of someone who has low self-esteem.3- Smile. Smiling is your most powerful body language signal. Though it is not recommended to smile constantly (people will be under the impression you are searching for approval), you should still make an effort to appear happy and optimistic.4- Do not make repeated, nervous like gestures. When speaking to someone it’s important to use body movements but never fast and repetitive ones (picture someone who is nervous while public speaking; this is exactly what you're NOT aiming for).5- Create your own personal space. Make sure you let others know you have your own personal space and do not let them walk all over you. Note: you never want to invade someone else’s personal space.6- Dedicate all of your attention to the person you are speaking with. Do not constantly look around as if you are uncomfortable or not interested.7- Make sure to emphasize all of these tips when you meet someone new. First impressions count for a lot. You want to make the best impression you can.

Blast From The Past!

I love sex… it so important to me that every day it’s the most pressing activity for me that day. If I can suck a cock before noon, or lick a pussy, or explode into a pussy or mouth, ass or even my own hand my day is complete. And that’s just the start of my day!

I also love being a tgirl?

There is absolutely nothing better then getting up in the morning in a silk or satin nightgown and feeling your clit through the sensual fabric. Now with my implants that fill the bodice of my nightgown it truly doesn't’ get much better than this!
This Monday morn

ing Tommy, one of housemates was the second recipient of my morning horniness.

But first … I spent last night with a couple – Lisa and Terry but they left very early to return home to Virginia. It was a lovely weekend of sucking, fucking and licking. Terry has one beautiful cock that I sucked early this morning before they left. It’s nothing better than to have a mouthful of cock and cum as you say good morning.

But I am getting sidetracked, as it was Tommy that I was talking about. After Lisa and Terry were on their way, I discovered that Tommy was also now home – alone - so I crawled into bed with him. He wanted to sleep but I certainly didn't. Tommy has a wonderful cock as well… its thick and at least 8 inches when hard.

My clit certainly was hard and it didn't take me long to get his huge cock hard.
I spread his legs wide, then knelt between them, and then began licking the insides of his right thigh, avoiding the huge manhood that lay before. Soon I could see a slight firmness building in his shaft. I could feel Tommy becoming aroused to my lips and tongue seemed to find tender areas of skin.

I found his balls with my tongue - n o that difficult to find I might add, so I slowly nimbled on each one. Tommy‘s moans at first were soft, then began to become a slow drone. I knew he was almost awake now.

Seeing that his cock was getting firmer, I immediately wrapped my lips around its head. The feeling of cock – especially a huge one – growing inside your mouth is pure excitement. I love the sensation of control and I was in control now.

I slowly tongued his shaft finding the bulging veins. Repeating my tongue strokes as I devoured his shaft.

Tommy reached out to pull me to him but I gently pushed him back onto the bed. This cock was mine and I wanted it to explode into my mouth.

I did turn my back to him to let my black satin nightgown flow, like a tent, all over his naked body. As I arched my back, I know he could feel my cock ring encased 7 inch clit on his stomach.
Back to business, Tommy’s cock felt as big as it has ever been in my mouth. It was throbbing as I continued to work the shaft and the huge head. It was like being in heaven.

Tommy’s moans were quick now, his legs were moving as he was squirming underneath me. I could see his toes crunch together. Tommy became louder and luder but for me it was all focus. I wanted his cock to explode and explode it did. Tommy screamed!

It was all I could do to keep my two hands on the shaft to keep the gush – surge actually - of his silky white cream in my mouth. I weanted it all. I took several gulps then ran my tongue across my mouth to get every last drop.

I turned back to Tommy as I ran fingers across that big head to get the last bit of cum and simply said.

“Good morning Tommy!”

I WEonder What I would Do If One of My College Roomates Recognized Me Now!

You're traveling on business to San Diego. The plane will be landing in about 15 minutes. You have one bag to pick up at baggage claim before you make your way to the car rental desk to get the car you reserved.

The plane lands and you begin the trek to baggage claim. When you get to the carousel, you see a familiar face smiling at you. It's your college roommate, who is also in town on business. Surprise!

Know what your brain does next? First, it immediately kicks into high gear and begins working out a way to deal with this new and unexpected set of circumstances. This is called "neuroplasticity," or the changes that occur in the organization of the brain as a result of an experience. Unscientifically speaking, during this kind of an event, chemicals are released by the body as a result of the emotions that occur in this instant. Those chemicals bond with "receptors" in the brain and help form a connection or associative memory.

So, now, for years, you'll remember the business trip you made to San Diego, probably more than most trips you made that year. Not because of the mundane business part of it, though. What makes the memory last is the fact that you got surprised.

Surprise is one of the most effective marketing tools there is. When you surprise your customer, you cause his/her brain to begin firing rapidly and quickly making certain kinds of connections. The connections made will cause an associative memory related to the emotions that the surprise elicits, ultimately linking your brand to the emotion they feel.

In the words of Dr. Joe Dispenza, author of Evolve Your Brain: The Science of Changing Your Mind, "Our emotions are designed so that they reinforce chemically something into long term memory. That's why we have them."

Which is to say that without emotions, we would have no memories. Except the ones we program into our brains, like when the Civil War took place or our multiplication tables. Yawn.
Whether you're advertising or conducting business, adding the element of surprise to your business model is a sure-fire way to build brand loyalty and incite conversation about your brand.

What are some ways you can put surprise to work for you?

What A Man Must Do ...

It's not difficult to make a woman happy. A Man only needs to be:

1. a friend 2. a companion 3. a lover 4. a brother 5. a father 6. a master 7. a chef 8. an electrician 9. a carpenter 10. a plumber 11. a mechanic 12. a decorator 13. a stylist 14. a sexologist 15. a gynecologist 16. a psychologist 17. a pest exterminator 18. a psychiatrist 19. a healer 20. a good listener 21. an organizer 22. a good father 23. very clean 24. sympathetic 25. athletic 26. warm 27 attentive 28. gallant 29. intelligent 30. funny 31. creative 32. tender 33. strong 34. understanding 35. tolerant 36. prudent 37. ambitious 38. capable 39. courageous 40. determined 41. true 42. dependable 43. passionate 44. compassionate

WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:
45. give her compliments regularly 46. love shopping 47. be honest 48. be very rich 49. not stress her out 50. not look at other girls

AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:
51. give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself 52. give her lots of time, especially time for herself 53. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes

IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:
54. Never to forget: * birthdays * anniversaries * arrangements she makes

ListenTo Giggi ...

Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than the U.S. Treasury.
-------------
Men can read smaller print than women can; women can hear better.
------------
Coca-Cola was originally green.
----------
It is impossible to lick your elbow. (in most cases, I saw someone do it though)
----------
The State with the highest percentage of people who walk to work: Alaska
---------
The percentage of Africa that is wilderness: 28% (now get this...)
----------
The percentage of North America that is wilderness: 38%
-------------
The cost of raising a medium-size dog to the age of eleven: $ 16,400
-------------
The average number of people airborne over the U.S. in any given hour: 61,000
------------
Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.
-----------
The first novel ever written on a typewriter: Tom Sawyer.
----------
The San Francisco Cable cars are the only mobile National Monuments.
-----------
Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history:

Spades - King David
Hearts - Charlemagne
Clubs - Alexander, the Great
Diamonds - Julius Caesar

Everything Must Be Clean ...

Perfect!

Reversal of Misfortune

Surprise!

Pick One!

There is Never Enough Time to Be The Perfect Maid!