More Off Topic Funnies ... Still Cute

Unfair Payment
Carlson was charged with stealing a Mercedes Benz and, after a long trial, the jury acquitted him. Later that day Carlson came back to the judge who had presided at the hearing. "Your honour," he said, "I wanna get out a warrent for that dirty lawyer of mine." "Why ?" asked the judge. "He won your acquittal. What do you want to have him arrested for?" "Well, your honour," replied Carlson, "I didn't have the money to pay his fee, so he went and took the car I stole."

Door Signs
A person checks into a hotel for the first time in his life, and goes up to his room. Five minutes later he calls the desk and say, "You've given me a room with no exit. How do I leave?" The desk clerk says, "Sir, that's absurd. Have you looked for the door?" The person says, " Well, there's one door that leads to the bathroom. There's a second door that goes into the closet. And there's a door I haven't tried, but it has a 'do not disturb' sign on it."